I might have met a 'special someone'!

[sars_notd_virus]

Sounds a very busy woman Tim, she must be working on her priorities at the moment.. Just give her a time..

[grahamw48]

Sorry mate, but doesn't sound good at all to me.

Is there any romance involved anywhere ?

You're having to work VERY hard for this one.

Think about it.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck anyway, but don't be a doormat.

[South-east boy]

I spoke to her tonight and got on fine as usual. She still said that she doesn't know about next week yet. Were meeting up on Saturday for the day, but not sure about Sunday/next week. She said that she showed her mum the emails that I sent of places to visit, but she said that her mum is making her own plans. Also what sounded strange was that before when she came she said that she was looking forward to me showing her these places, cooking a meal at my place, going for a picnic and seeing my bathroom (that I've been working on forever!), but tonight she said that she might not be able to come to the countryside (it's only a 1 hour train journey from London). She asked how far it was. I'm wondering if her mum is not keen on her travelling alone, or her being with me away from general public (such as if she was in car with me etc)? I can't think of any other reason as she loves looking at the photos I've taken at some of these places, so I would think that she'd like to visit them.

Romance, well as I said we flirt a bit on yahoo, she says I look great, gwapo etc and she liked the photos that she took of me (and she took loads on that Sunday!). Bit too early to say about romance on that date as it was the first time of meeting, so both a touch shy - you need to be in each others company a bit more and to feel more used to them to get a bit closer, but I shall try!

[South-east boy]

Double post!

[Tawi2]

How did the conversation go?Did you read her kinesics?Was there a spark?Sometimes you can feel the electricity.

[grahamw48]

Personally I need instant chemistry now.

Not enough time left to muck about.

[Tawi2]

How old is the lady in question? Sometimes we dont live up to expectations,thats the plain old truth,just give her time,dont stress,relax and see what happens,good things come to those who wait(sometimes)lots of women out there

[South-east boy]

How did the conversation go?Did you read her kinesics?Was there a spark?Sometimes you can feel the electricity.

The conversation was good and as always we never have trouble thinking of things to say. I'm useles with kinesics etc. I know things you are meant to look for or do yourself, but once on the date I totally forget them! Now I have had girls before that have made it a bit obvious that they like me, but she's a bit too shy for that, so it's harder for me to tell.

I wouldn't say that there was or wasn't a spark-but you have to remember, that we both haven't had a real bf or gf and are not too confident with relationships/the opposite sex. It was also the first meeting and at an awkward time -5pm on a Sunday, so most tourist attractions would have been shortly closing, so I wasn't sure exactly where to go etc. It was also a bit of a rush as we were not sure exactly what time we would eventually be meeting due to her having just arrived and feeling tired etc. I've not felt a spark in first meetings before and have grown to like them more & more and definitely felt something strong later on.

I think if we can spend most of a day together going somewhere nice, we'll feel a bit more used to each other and hopefully I'll remember the old kinesics stuff!

[South-east boy]

How old is the lady in question? Sometimes we dont live up to expectations,thats the plain old truth,just give her time,dont stress,relax and see what happens,good things come to those who wait(sometimes)lots of women out there

She's 32, nearly 33 or 33, nearly 34. We had been talking before she came about we hoped that we didn't disappoint the other! She says that she doesn't go for looks as much, but more for personality, being able to chat with someone that she has things in common with and also someone that makes an effort & us thoughtful, so I'm ok there, unless maybe she might go for looks more than she says!

Well, as I have said before, this weekend is the half-way point of her stay here and if she does do this extra course, then we're really not going to get that much time, but I guess some time is better than none, but I'd like enough time for us to be able to tell how we really feel and if there is a future.

I'll just cross my finger that she won't book this course and we'll have a great time together this weekend.

[Tawi2]

like enough time for us to be able to tell how we really feel and if there is a future.

Faint heart never won fair maiden,tell her how you feel,be open,tell her you like her and see where it goes,good things can and do happen for good peopleHope it all turns out as you hope,be lucky

[South-east boy]

Faint heart never won fair maiden,tell her how you feel,be open,tell her you like her and see where it goes,good things can and do happen for good peopleHope it all turns out as you hope,be lucky

Another reply in this thread that I posted and then it vanished! Anyway!

I did say to her after we met that I found her lovely & gorgeous and she knows that I want to see her as often as possible. I also showed her the photos of her that I'd saved on my phone!

Can't remember if I've said before, but she kept taking lots of photos of me, liked the ones that she took and wants to take lots more when we meet again! She's also called me gwapo a few times so I would have thought that if she wasn't interested that she wouldn't do those things as most people don't want someone else to think that they like them if they actually don't!

[South-east boy]

Spoke to her last night. We're meeting up on Sunday, but her mum has plans on Sunday. I asked again about Monday and she said that I wouldn't want to spend 2 hours on the train on my Birthday! I just it's not quite that long and I don't mind, especially if I'm seeing you. Don't really fancy spending the day on my own either! She said that my family might have plans or spend lunch & evening meal together? I said no plans so far and I wouldn't be having lunch with them. I also said it seems that we're not going to have hardly any time together and she said we'll see and there's next weekend.

I think she's either unsure and waiting to see how Saturday goes or she was disappointed with me when we met and isn't interested. Or maybe she's being a bit traditional and is playing a bit hard to get?

I really try and do all I can (I spent a hell of a lot of thought & time for what I did for her for Valentines day for instance), but I think whatever women say, looks are far more important than they will ever admit. Feel like giving up sometimes. Been making an effort to find someone for over half of my life now, and everytime it never works out and I get hurt time & time & time again. Just wish I knew what I do wrong and why they don't like me?

[grahamw48]

Someone needs to put an arm round you mate.

Don't give up, but I think you deserve more from this lady.

[mickcant]

I understand your feelings

Thats why I decided to give up on finding a relationshp that is genuine and got a puppy

At least he is honest and open and wont scam me
Mick.

[Dedworth]

The signs don't look good, going back to your very early posts on this thread you mentioned that the sister would be on this trip along with the mum. Is the sister actually here 'cos your recent posts only mention the mum ? Having travelled to all the earlier countries mentioned she should be a bit worldly wise so being shy/hard to get doesn't add up. As I said on another post I'd lay it on the line, if she can't or won't play ball then walk away.

Don't give up there's plenty of good ones out there as the success stories on here testify. Its only 2 months till the Morden Barrio Fiesta. I'm sure it will all happen for you one day.

[South-east boy]

The signs don't look good, going back to your very early posts on this thread you mentioned that the sister would be on this trip along with the mum. Is the sister actually here 'cos your recent posts only mention the mum ? Having travelled to all the earlier countries mentioned she should be a bit worldly wise so being shy/hard to get doesn't add up. As I said on another post I'd lay it on the line, if she can't or won't play ball then walk away.

Don't give up there's plenty of good ones out there as the success stories on here testify. Its only 2 months till the Morden Barrio Fiesta. I'm sure it will all happen for you one day.

Yes, her sister is here to and I met her briefly just after viva and then her mum arrived. Her sister is also doing courses like Viva at the same art college. Maybe she's getting pressure from her mum and sister to spend time with them or they are not so keen on me for whatever reason? They don't seem to want to spend any time with me anyway.

When I speak to her again, I'm not sure what I should or shouldn't say? Do I mention that I'm disappointed if she again doesn't seem to want to come down here again (after saying how she was looking forward to doing all these things previously) or maybe that I'm sad as I don't feel that she's interested as she doesn't seem to want to meet up etc? Or should I just leave it and concentrate on Saturday and hope that goes well? But then I do really need to know whether I'm having next week off or going back into work or not? I had said to my parents and brother & his gf about her coming for a meal at their house, but it doesn't seem that that will happens and I've made a fool of myself by telling people about her.

[Win2Win]

To me all this sounds like she is torn between spending time with close family or with someone she doesn't know that well and is not sure about, so it's human nature to side with those you love and trust in the most. So she has little or no love towards you, so move on, plenty more beetles in the dung

[Terpe]

SEB, I have been following your story.
It sounds that you are keener than she is on any kind of romantic relationship.
You sound like a nice honest bloke and you certainly deserve better treatment than what's currently on offer.

To be brutally honest, do not let it slide without saying something about how you feel and what you want. You'll just continue remain 'in-limbo' and unable to move your life anywhere.
You need to either settle this 'relationship' or just accept that friendship is as far as it goes.

Of course it's possible that she is being influenced by her sister and mother, but that should not prevent her from saying what she really feels, and what she really wants.
It's called honesty.

[Dedworth]

I'd come out with it straight, if you dont ask you don't get. Tell her you are disappointed shes not taking up the opportunities to spend time with you and do the things and visits she'd previously said she was looking forward to. Furthermore say you've your own life to get on with and arrangements to make so you can't deal with think about it's or maybes.

[Doc Alan]

Personally I need instant chemistry now.

Not enough time left to muck about.

I think Graham is right !
You're a decent man, we're friends, and I understand you're still seeking advice. To me, you have been too considerate and unselfish. "Treat em mean, keep em keen" surely now applies. Make a decision on this current relationship. If she doesn't like your decision, tough ! Her loss ! Remove yourself from filipinacupid and other dating sites. You must already have several contacts from them on facebook.
If your decision is to move on, have the courage to book a flight to the Philippines and stay for 3 weeks. By all means tell your contacts you're going, but be flexible, keep an open mind. You have friends on the forum who live in the Philippines or have their own trustworthy contacts there. I'm sure they would be more than happy to meet you. Good luck, Tim .

[Bluebirdjones]

Mate, if she was interested, she'd be all over you like a cheap suit.

So give her the "spanish archer".

... and perhaps some advice..
Don't try so hard (presents, gifts etc).... they have to accept you for what you are, not what you can give them. Be more laid-back. The relationship will develop naturally.

... and DON'T publicise the relationship on here ! Do your own thing... but QUIETLY !

[Terpe]

... and DON'T publicise the relationship on here ! Do your own thing... but QUIETLY !

[South-east boy]

Well, just to update this -it was because her mum was not so keen on her going outside London on her own with somone she doesn't know very well and she didn't want to go against her mum's wishes. Also her mum likes to make spur of the moment decisions on what they'll be doing or visting the next day, so it was hard for Viva to plan anything! Anyway, I went out with Viva and her mum on my Birthday for the day, then out for a meal with Viva in the evening, then saw her two more times after that. I didn't really get to see her as many times as I wanted, but we both know we liked each other and things are moving forward.

[Arthur Little]

Well, just to update this - I didn't really get to see her as many times as I wanted, but we both know we liked each other and things are moving forward.

I'm glad to read that, Tim; thanks for updating your friends here ... and "Viva the ongoing relationship"!

[South-east boy]

I'm glad to read that, Tim; thanks for updating your friends here ... and "Viva the ongoing relationship"!

Thanks Arthur!

[Dedworth]

Get your ticket

Etihad 05 Sep 2011 - 30 Nov 2011 £523 30kg baggage book by 14 July

http://www.pic-uk.com/en/component/o...112/Itemid,37/

[tanga]

South-east boy,
Buy a ticket and visit Philippines.There's plenty of car shows for you here maybe Viva could show you round and you could do some flower arranging with her.
Anyway there's plenty to do and if its not working out between the two of you there are plenty of other Filipinas just waiting to meet your acquaintance
Get onto PIC now and make a trip